The purpose of today’s practice is to begin developing awareness of your mindsets.
Awareness is the fundamental first step to Learner Living. It enables you to observe yourself as a non-judgmental witness at any moment. This non-judgmental self-awareness is the basis for being at choice.
Don’t worry about whether you’re aware of your mindset in the moment or whether you realize it after the fact. The goal today is simply to learn to notice your Learner and Judger mindsets. Eventually you’ll be able to do this in real time, and even most of the time.
Our bodies provide invaluable information about what we are thinking and feeling, so it is useful to notice and listen.
Sometimes the best clue about which mindset we are in comes from our bodies rather than from only our thinking. The purpose of today’s practice is to help you tune into how your body feels in both Learner mindset and Judger mindset, so you can use the information to help you identify which mindset you are in and choose to switch if it serves you.
The purpose of today’s practice is to lay the groundwork for transforming your relationship with the critical self-Judger you may experience within yourself. This will become the basis for developing an accepting, even potentially friendly, relationship with your Judger.
Self-Judger is the part of your inner dialogue that compares you unfavorably to others or to your expectations of yourself and may even call you mean names. Self-Judger is completely normal and everyone has one. Fortunately, what our self-Judger tells us is often not true! Today your job will be simply to notice the things your self-Judger says and how that makes you feel.
“Those People” Thursday
The purpose of today’s practice is to increase your awareness of your Judger thoughts about other people. “Those people” are the ones whose attitudes and/or behaviors trigger YOUR Judger. The power of today’s practice is in learning about your own Judger not about anyone you are in judgment of. The goal is to observe and understand yourself, not to blame or find fault with yourself or others.
Think about who some of “those people” might be for you. For example, when you’re driving, is it the “idiot” who cuts you off without warning? Is it your spouse or teenager who didn’t do something s/he promised to do? Maybe it’s your boss who failed to mention a report s/he needed from you this morning. “Those people” could be anybody.
Whoever “those people” are for you, today you get to notice how they trigger YOUR Judger.
Inevitably, there will be people and situations that trigger your Judger, maybe many times a day.
The purpose of today’s practice is to anticipate one of those times and fortify your Learner Living habit so you’re able to have a Learner interaction rather than a Judger one. Learning Living is about choosing to let go of Judger and switch to Learner. Today you will have a chance to plan for and practice switching for a better outcome.
Remember, a Switching question is one you ask yourself when you notice you’re in Judger or about to jump in the Judger pit with both feet.
You started to apply Switching strategies yesterday when you looked at a person or situation that has triggered you in the past and planned ways to relate to them from Learner instead. Today’s practice is about finding a Switching question that can stop you when you’re heading for the Judger Pit (what we call a “Judger hijack”). We call a Switching question a rescue question or an SOS question (Stop-Observe-Switch).
Now we take time to reflect and to appreciative your courage and commitment in taking this journey with me.
The purpose of Seven Days to Learner Living is to support you in building the foundation of a Learner habit that you’ll benefit from for the rest of your life—both at home and at work. The purpose of Success Sunday is to acknowledge, appreciate, and celebrate your accomplishment of completing these seven days of practices.
Reinforcing your Learner Habit
Now that you have completed Seven Days to Learner Living, you have begun to develop your awareness of the thoughts, questions, and feelings that indicate you are in or headed to Judger mindset.
The ultimate goal of Learner Living is to be able to notice as soon as you are in Judger so you can respond rather than react. While Judger will never go away, you do have the choice whether to think, question, speak, or act from it—and you certainly have the choice to switch to Learner!